I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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