the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
