he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
