she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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