Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
