he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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