so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
