he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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