I want to stick my p in your. b.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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