I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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