Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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