Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
