youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
