Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
