super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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