thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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