would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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