My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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