she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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