Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
