Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
