Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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