$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Who died my cat blue again?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
