did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
