yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
