YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
