Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She is in my trunk
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
