this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
