i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
