Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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