Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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