Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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