At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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