didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
