His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
