Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
