i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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