yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
