So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
