I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize