There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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