I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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