You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Randomize