I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
