Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
