im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
