so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
