ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
