I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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