I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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