My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
