i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
