4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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