i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
