Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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