wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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