I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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