just tell him i said nine months
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
