you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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