I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like I smell like bad decisions