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• (212): View more from New York

  he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings

  (718): View more from New York

  He can't hurt my feelings

  (718): View more from New York

  I don't have feelings.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.

  (917): View more from New York City

  why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.

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• (559): View more from California

  I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.

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• (707): View more from California

  Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?

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• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!

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• (916): View more from California

  I smell like heartbreak.

  (707): View more from California

  Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?

  (916): View more from California

  How did you know?

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