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• (805): View more from California

  i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (219): View more from Indiana

  Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Oh Jesus.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink

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• (941): View more from Florida

  What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.

  (1+64): View more from

  I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.

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