Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
