Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
where are you?
Hypothermia
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
