He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
