we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
