So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
