if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
