I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this will be a night to untag.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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