smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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