I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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