I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
