If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Every concussion has its silver lining
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
