Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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